The Pruning

Posts Tagged ‘image of god’

Men, What Do You Look for in a Wife?

In Charlie Kang on February 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

by Charlie Kang

One of the little tricks that I use in evaluating (aka judging) people is asking for their top 5 non-negotiables qualities of their future spouse.  If “Christian” is not there, I judge you.  If it’s “Christian” and then four worldly characteristics, I judge you.  HAHAHA.  If you said this to me and failed, it’s OK, I probably don’t judge you as harshly anymore.

Throughout my MANY years of asking this question, I have grown a deeper understanding that the reason why many of our relationships are broken in the world today is not because of a chemistry issue, but a problem that can be seen in ourselves before a relationship even starts. We simply want the wrong things.  We don’t want the proverbial Proverbs 31 woman anymore; we want a woman of our desires from 1 Fleshalonians (HAHA).  Some people never look beyond the superficial and are swimming in the shallowness of temporal beauty when a woman’s true beauty stems from her reflection of the image of God.  Men, we do better to get our priorities straight.

Famous American revivalist speaker Jonathan Edwards’ priorities for a wife were deeply entrenched in his love for God.  He was described as a man having a “God entranced view of all things”, meaning that everything he did was seen in light of his relationship to His Creator; even relationships.  See if you can trace some of the qualities that Edwards found beautiful of his wife, Sarah Piedmont in his love letter* to her:

“They say there is a young lady in [New Haven] who is beloved of that almighty Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything, except to meditate on  him–that she expects after a while to be received up where he is, to be raised out of the world and caught up into heaven; being assured that he loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from him always.  There she is to dwell with him, and to be ravished with his love, favor and delight, forever.  Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affliction.  She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and sweetness of temper, uncommon purity in her affections; is most just and praiseworthy in all her actions; and you could not persuade her to do anything thought wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this great Being.  She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness and universal benevolence of mind; especially after those times in which this great God has manifested himself to her mind.  She will sometimes go about, singing sweetly, from place to [place]; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure, and no one knows for what.  She loves to be alone, and to wander in the fields and on the mountains, and seems to have someone invisible always conversing with her.”

Men, let’s value the qualities in women that will not fade away in time.  Women, I hope you want a man who will say these things about you.

* Upon further investigation of the origins of this love letter, tradition states that Edwards wrote this to Sarah when he was 20 and she was 13.  Jonathan Edwards did not follow the “divide by 2, add 7″ principle.  It goes to show that we’re all sinners right?  HAHA jk :]

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